A Sad Day

Yesterday, my good friend Marko sent me a text message. He told me that his "aunt" Linda had been taken to the hospital that morning and that he was afraid she was dying. He said he feared she was in her last days. She was in a lot of pain and was scared to be in the hospital. Linda was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago, and her health got progressively worse over that time. Marko asked us to pray for her, and told us that he hoped she would deal well with being in the hospital and that she would be in Heavenly Father's presence after dying.

This morning when I woke up, my first thought was to text him for any news. Sadly, he responded that she had passed away this morning (middle of the night for us). I am glad she didn't have to endure too long in the hospital considering she was scared to be there. She was able to spend her last months at her comfortable little home that she loved so much on Pojengi tee in north Tallinn.

Linda is a very special friend to me. When I arrived in Estonia as a brand new missionary straight from the MTC, I was really nervous about the language, culture, people, etc. My companion, Elder Green, was a confident and hard-working missionary with a great command of the Estonian language. We had a few investigators who were partially interested, but we spent a lot of time knocking doors. But one bright spot in our teaching pool was Marko and Linda. Marko had been baptized while I was in the MTC, so we were working on retention with him. His "aunt" (I'm still not sure of the actual relation, if there is one, but he lived at her house and their bond was very close) Linda was also taking the discussions.

Every Wednesday after our preparation day had ended at 6:00 p.m., Marko would pick us up at our apartment in Mustamae (west Tallinn) and drive us all the way across the city to Pirita (north Tallinn) where we would have dinner with Linda, Marko, and Linda's daugther, Kersti. After dinner we'd have a good long gospel discussion with Linda and Marko. These lessons were great opportunities for me to practice my Estonian in a "safe" environment where I felt more comfortable, like I was at "home" away from my actual home. Linda would encourage me and listen patiently while I tripped over the phrases and sentences I had practiced beforehand. She would repeat her questions and slow her speech down when I had a hard time understanding. It was really uncomfortable to be talking to somebody and totally miss the meaning of their words, but Linda's patience and kindness gave me more confidence.

Linda progressed well, and her testimony of the restored gospel grew quickly as she attended church and made and kept her commitments. It wasn't long before she had a baptismal date: November 19, 2004.

Elder Green and Linda on November 19, 2004 at the Tallinn chapel

Linda was the first investigator I taught that was baptized, and of course, that was a very special and exciting day for all of us. She had her struggles and doubts, but she faithfully pressed on and endured through the challenging times. She was a steady and diligent saint; a pioneer in her own land where the gospel is still so new and the church is so young.

Linda with a copy of "Stand a Little Taller"- a Christmas present from Elder Green's mom

Elders Green and Holdaway: getting in the Christmas spirit?

For Christmas that year, Linda gave me a copy of "The Little Prince" in Estonian, a book that Laurie re-introduced me to just a year and a half before when I spent a month with her family in St. George after high school. I thought it was so cool to see this book printed in Estonian! Unfortunately, I couldn't read it on my mission, even for language study.

"The Little Prince" in Estonian: "Väike Prints"

A picture of Linda's house on a beautiful snowy day in winter, early 2005

I stayed in contact with Linda throughout the remainder of my mission after I was transferred to Tartu and then later to Pärnu where I spent the last 11+ months of my mission. I was grateful that just before leaving Estonia, Linda sent me a page for my memory book which included her testimony, which I will cherish.

It was five years after leaving Estonia when I saw Linda again, this time in June 2011 when Suzanna and I went back for a visit. She taught the Relief Society lesson that Sunday when we attended church in Tallinn, and from what Suzanna recalls, it was a very good lesson! Later that week we visited her at her home again, enjoying a little strawberry ice cream and sat in her garden for a while talking and catching up. Unfortunately, she wasn't feeling so well even then, and we limited our time at her place to an hour or so.

Suzanna, Mark and Linda, June 2011

Linda's beautiful front yard

This picture was taken right before saying goodbye to Linda the last time we saw her

While we were there visiting with her, she mentioned that the hymns brought her a lot of peace and she wished she had more Mormon Tabernacle Choir CDs to enjoy because the one that she did have was having problems with skipping. I promised her I would send her more music, and within a couple weeks of returning home, I did just that. I sent her a package with two brand-new Mormon Tabernacle Choir CDs. Marko confirmed to me that she got them and was grateful for them. I just hope that they were able to bolster her suffering spirit and bring her some peace in her final months.

I miss Linda, and today especially, I've had a heavy heart, but I have confidence that she is now resting from her pains and sufferings. I have faith and hope that God will be merciful and loving to my friend, a faithful and believing Estonian saint. God speed, Linda! Ole tubli!

msh